Fortunes In Bed

A few years ago, somebody told me that fortune cookies can sometimes take on a whole new meaning if you simply add the words "in bed" to the end of the fortune.

Here are some of my favorites, all obtained from Hunan Manor in Columbia, MD.


  • Nothing in the world is accomplished without passion.
  • You have great physical powers and an iron concentration.
  • Your skills and talents will be called on in unusual areas.
  • You will be fortunate in everything you put your hands on.
  • You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done.
  • A modest man never talks of himself.
  • It's time for you to explore all those new interests.
  • You will show what you are capable of.
  • Your efforts will result in much profit.
  • It only gets better when you get better.
  • Watch for a stranger to soon become a friend.
  • You will soon get something special because of your charm.
  • You are not a person who can be ignored.
  • A brave man is the one that is not afraid to admit his mistake.
  • You were born to be a leader, not a follower.
  • You'll advance far with your abilities.
  • Failure is the chance to do better next time.
  • Your life will be happy and peaceful.
  • Your genuine talent will find its way to success.
  • It tastes sweet.
  • You are vigorous in words and action.
  • Now is a good time to try something new.
  • Soon, a visitor shall delight you.
  • You are the center of every group's attention.
  • You are talented in many ways.
  • Versatility is one of your outstanding traits.
  • It is quality rather than quantity that matters. Do a good job tomorrow.
  • Happiness isn't something you remember, it's something you experience.
  • You are demonstrative with those you love.
  • You are always welcome in any gathering.
  • You are an exciting and inspiring person.
  • You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.
  • An admirer is concealing his affection for you. (Ick!)
  • You will be awarded a great honor.
  • You constantly struggle for self improvement -- and it shows!
  • You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
  • Get your mind set -- confidence will lead you on.
  • You will have a close encounter of a surprising kind.
  • Your short term goal will soon be realized.
  • You attract everything you need and most of what you want.
  • Take no risks with your reputation.
  • You will soon be receiving sound spoken advice.
  • You will have no problems in your home.
  • Investigate new possibilities with friends.
  • Time makes one wise. Ask advice from someone older than you.
  • Your most memorable dream will come true.
  • Do something unusual tomorrow.