Automotive Pet Peeves

  1. It bugs me that when you pre-pay at the gas pump, it takes just as long for the last ten cents of gas to dribble out of the nozzle as the first twenty dollars worth did.
  2. I absolutely hate left-side exits and merges. The left-most lane is full of NASCAR wannabes driving at speeds of 80 mph or higher. I avoid that lane like the plague, but left-side exits force me to venture into the domain of the "80+mph Club", who don't seem to understand why "idiots" like me are intruding into their lane and then having the gaul to slow down when our exit ramp approaches! They violently weave around me, speeding by and shaking angry fists at me while cursing my name. And Heaven help you if you ever must enter the interstate highway from the left side! Most of the ramps I've been on usually have a top safe speed of 45mph, assuming you want to avoid hearing your tires squeal or having your car flip over. So basically, you are going about 45mph, and then being forced to merge into a lane where drivers are whizzing by at a brisk 80mph, looking for any excuse to prevent you from using their lane.
  3. Okay, you're driving down a two lane road, and you see a sign saying that the right lane is closed 1,500 yards ahead. The logical thing to do would be to start merging over into the left hand lane. But noooooooooo. You have these jokers who stay in the right hand lane until the last possible minute, and then cut into the open lane suddenly, forcing those of us who had the foresight to already change lanes to hit the brakes, slowing down traffic even more.
  4. What is it with people not wanting to use their turn signal blinkers?? I can't tell you how many times I've waited to pull out because of an oncoming car to my left, only to have the knuckle-head slow down and turn without using the turn signal. Then you have the opposite of the spectrum, with people driving down the interstate oblivious to the fact that their turn signal is on, when they have absolutely no intent in changing lanes at all. Maybe they have the radio on too loud, and can't hearing the soft clicking of their signal. Maybe they're too busy talking on their cell phone. Maybe they're idiots.
  5. Why do people think that a "SPEED LIMIT 65" sign means that 65mph is the minimum speed that you must drive? I'm driving on the interstate in the rightmost lane, doing the speed limit of 65, not even thinking about venturing into the other lanes that contain cars driving at Autobahn speeds. So why do I consistantly get people behind me riding my bumper, angrily passing me at the earliest possibility? I've even had people honk their horn and flash their lights at me, as if I'm some Amish buggy creeping along at glacial speed. It's not like I'm clogging up the other two or three lanes, where cars drive so fast they would be airborne if they had wings. I'm driving at what is supposed to be the maximum speed allowed, in the rightmost lane, and that's still not fast enough for them.
  6. I especially love those drivers who are burning rubber in the leftmost lane, and then cut across four lanes of traffic at the last minute in order to catch an exit they were about to miss.
  7. People must honestly think they are the most important people on the road. They seriously must think they are gods of their own little automotive universe. Let's say Joe Driver pulls up to a traffic light and gets in the left-turn only lane. It suddenly dawns on him that he isn't supposed to turn here. He meant to go straight through the light instead of turning left. So, the left-turn arrow turns green, and what does our hero do? Does he go ahead and make the unwanted left hand turn, turn around at the nearest opportunity, and proceed to get back on the road in the proper direction?? Perish the thought! Don't you know that Joe Driver is THE single most important driver in the entire world? He simply turns his right-hand blinker on, and waits for the straight-through light to turn green. Never mind the fact that there are drivers behind him that actually do want to turn left. Joe wants to go straight, not left; so screw the rest of you peons. They honk and swear, but Joe is sovereign. His will be done. Of course, when the straight-through drivers get their green light, they aren't expecting anyone in the left-turn lane to want to go straight. Why should they?? But Joe can't understand why they are so irate at him when he pulls out and cuts them off. What an imbecile.
  8. I seriously think the goal of most drivers out there is to get from Point A to Point B in the shortest amount of time possible. They must keep daily logs of their travel times, and constantly attempt to improve their record. They dodge in and out of traffic, always disatisfied with the speed of the lane they are currently in.
  9. Hey, I understand that there are people out there who like to smoke cigarettes. Smoke in your car all you want. I don't care. But I do care when you throw your cigarette butt out the window, as if the Earth was your own private trashcan. I'll be sitting at a traffic light or driving down the interstate, and sure enough, some bozo will toss their still lit cigarette stub onto the road or grass. Mark my words: one of these days, I'm going to get out of my car, pick up that stub, and shove it up their left nostril.
  10. I can't stand driving on grooved roads. I swear, there must be one guy out there whose sole job is to drive around and put grooves in as many roads as he can. You knows the grooves I'm talking about -- the road scoring that is done in preparation for adding a new layer of blacktop. The asphalt people simply can't keep up with him, because I've seen grooved roads sit for months upon months before they were finally blacktopped. And usually the road that was scored was in fine shape to begin with!
  11. What is it with interstate drivers who stubbornly stay in the left-most lane driving 60mph (or less)? The speed limit is 65, I wanna get home, and I'm doing at least 70. I practically ram into them from behind, flash my lights, ride their bumper, but do they get over? Nooooooooooo. They are determined to be the official speed governor of the highways. Hey moron, here's a clue: if people are constantly passing you on the right, then you are probably in the wrong lane.

Here's a cool idea of mine...

Pass a law requiring all cars to have an unremovable "black box" embedded deep within its metal bowels. Make it a major felony to remove or tamper with this box. This box is wired directly to the car's speedometer. In addition, it contains a GPS device and a transmitter. Every five or ten seconds, this box sends the car's speed and positional information to a central police computer server. Officers can query this data, with requests such as "What is the location of a car with VIN 1G3MF43W83M483064" or "Show me every car currently in Howard County that has been travelling over 75mph for the past minute."

We already have traffic light cameras taking pictures of car that run red lights, and sending tickets in the mail to the driver. Let's face it; cops can't be everywhere. And I'd rather have more of them available out there stopping criminals and drug dealers, than sitting parked off the interstate with a radar gun, trying to fill their speeding ticket quota for the day. So give the fuzz the ability to track speeding vehicles from afar.

If you wanted to get really high-tech, you could give the police the ability to send a signal to a specific vehicle, which would disable it. Just think, dangerous high speed chases would be no more. As soon as the cops realize that O.J.'s truck isn't stopping, they just press a button, and presto! the accelerator is deactivated, and the vehicle slows to a easy stop. Of course, a negative effect of this technology would be that there would be no more "America's Scariest Chase Videos".